Construction workers

I noticed today that the construction workers who work on high rise buildings eat and take their breaks perched on something high. Not on a bench, but they sit on the edge of bridges or on top of pillars.

Past life regression

Sometimes I have flashbacks from what my original experienced in his short life. I think it’s similar to what some vets go through although I’m not the one that went through it.

Sometimes I see disturbing images, othertimes I just see red. Not often do I feel joy or happiness in those flashbacks. I wonder what my original had been involved in, or worse what our parents where/are involved in.

Please don’t punish me, I had to let it out. The dreams are too much. Please.

Finally Free. . . Almost

“There must be some kind of way out of here…”

My days with the oppression may be coming to an end shortly! I’ve been clawing at the walls of this deep hole that’s been dug (my finger prints are on the shovel too ya know) and I now can see the daylight. It’s still a bit dim yet I remain hopeful. This week is going to be a brutal waiting game and I am all too ready to leave.

Please send word: The first other, the first original is going to be history. I hope.

The oppression

The oppression just walked in. I haven’t seen it for a week, it’s been kinda nice. A dark cloud has set on my day and now I’m down. And guess what? I just had the “privilege” of talking to it. I may be sent to Florida.

Please let me leave.

Upside Down….?

Sometimes I just don’t know which way is up. Which way is left, which way is right?

I’ve been walking down a winding road and I’m in a thicket of thorns. My clothes are snagged, my arms are cut. How did I get here and how do I get out? I’m angry, sad and sometimes just numb.

Pity loves company

Pity loves company is what I say. I’m sitting here wondering the next time I’m gonna get some stale bread to eat. This Russian or whatever this guy’s country of origin is mean as hell. I get slapped for asking to go outside now. Seriously, WTF. Apparently he doesn’t speak English so maybe he just doesn’t like my tone. Not that I blame him because I hate him. You would too if you were me, so sympathize- pity loves company.

Being under so much duress has awakened something in me. Something strange. Something powerful. I don’t know it is yet, but I can feel it. I can almost taste it.

Chaos

Another birthday for me has passed. Although my numerical age has changed, I have not. I wouldn’t say that I haven’t changed at all, but I probably stopped aging at 25. More than likely it’s a symptom of the cloning process or the blood. Anyway, I digress….

I hate the fact I’m a year older. I’ve lost myself somewhere alone the way, somewhere in my 20s. Hardly anyone at work remembered. My mom bought me (yes for real) two shirts that I would never wear. I got a skydiving certificate that I don’t want to do. I’m a guy, I want stuff I can play with. Just get me a damn gift certificate for Newegg or something.

Who am I to complain anyway? I’ve been handed everything I wanted on a god damn silver platter and I can still find stuff to complain about. Some people ask why I like to smoke dope. I’ll tell you why, it chills me out, takes away my reality for a little bit and just makes me content at exactly where I’m at.

I hate Mondays. Especially when Monday falls on the day after my birthday.

The weather

Do you ever use the weather to change the subject and don’t even realize it?

The weather was great this weekend, the cold finally succumbed to the sun. And the sun in all it’s glory beat down on me like an oppresive old man. And speaking of the MAN, he was gracious, my bruises are healing.

I feel somewhat normal today, even though it’s Monday.

In regards to myself

This is the real me speaking. I think I’ve lost myself somehow. God, I’m so confused. Where did I take this turn? I say that as though it just happened, but it didn’t. It’s been a series of twists and turns and somehow I’ve been separated from what I knew. I’ve done this to myself. I’ve done this to myself.

Help me find my key. Point me toward the door. Hold my hand.

Where am I?

I’m in the void and I can’t find my way out. I don’t know…. how to get out. I don’t know which way is up and I’m swimming futher down. All the doors are locked and I hold a ring of keys, yet none of them fit. I want to fly away. Yeah, it’s confirmed, I want to fly away from everything.

Where I’ve been is not where I’ve meant to go. It’s not.